Have you ever been ghosted? I have and this is how I feel.

Photo by Elia Pellegrini on Unsplash.

Over the summer I went to a party during the pandemic. I know what you are thinking. Who the hell goes to a party during the pandemic? Well, I will tell you that usually it's a person who is bored and stir crazy. However, I don't want to mislead you because by this point in late July the quarantine was lifted. Plus, it was a close friend of mine's birthday and she provided face masks and hand sanitizer to make it as safe as you can in times like these.

Nevertheless, you're here to hear my story about Casper. Yes, we’re calling this guy Casper and he was friendly but guess what else? Casper is a ghost. As mentioned, I went to a birthday party for a close friend and he was there. We hit it off instantaneously, it was what they call chemistry. We talked for hours at the party and even left the party to talk privately for a while.

After exchanging numbers, we were hanging out together the very next day. We went to something low key and had a drink in Brooklyn. That first week we saw each other almost every day. Excitement was building because for the first time in a long time I met a guy who was courting me and spending time with me. It was all very casual but fun and intimate. 

By the Friday of that same week, things started to get strange. We were supposed to go on what he called our first real date that he was planning for Saturday. However, I noticed that on Friday he wasn't as responsive as he usually was and then after calling he wasn't answering the phone. The entire weekend went by and Casper was completely off the grid and MIA. I mean whenever I called his number it would go to voicemail.

“At this point I was frustrated and confused. I was thinking, why would someone take you out all these times to disappear?”

At this point I was frustrated and confused. I was thinking, why would someone take you out all these times to disappear? I considered all the possible things that could have went wrong. I was even worried but then I was also angry. One thing that I have learned over the years is that I really believe in communication and transparency even when it's uncomfortable. Therefore, the fact that he couldn't call me and just say "hey, something came up or can we slow down," well it frankly just pissed me off.

How I got over it

Well, it wasn't an overnight thing but I really wasn't feeling very forgiving by the following Monday. I already wrote him off and decided that he was a coward for handling the situation so poorly. In this digital era of online dating and just dating during COVID it's imperative that people can communicate and handle things responsibly. I found it very disrespectful that he treated me that way. I decided a long time ago that I require respect. I have so much dignity for myself that I just knew he wouldn't have another chance.

In short, Casper and I did see each other at another event in September. A day or two before the event, he texted me to say that he missed me and all this jazz. I ignored his text and at the event I ignored him again. While at the event something happened and he began to text me to encourage me to be safe. I politely said thanks and that was that. The moral of the story is we’re all going to experience ghosting and may be the transgressor at times. However, at the end of the day it's not fair to treat people that way. All we have is respect and I for one demand it. Happy dating folks and let me know what you think about my story below.